Smoked and Stuffed

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2011-12-19T06:29:00.001-06:00

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Martin Hinrichs @ophawkeye

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2010-06-28T18:23:00.001-05:00

Granny knocking back a marg

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Bags and BBQ

2010-04-25T10:28:00.010-05:00

I decided to pull the smoker out a few weeks ago and smoke some ribs. We invited our neighbors Booker and Michelle to help put down the 10 lbs of spare ribs. I don't like sharing, but 10 lbs is a little out of my range, just a little though.

194 Days Until Hawkeye Football Is Back

2010-02-22T19:36:00.004-06:00

One of my favorite pictures from last season.

How many Wolverines does it take to catch a Moeaki?

Bacon Wrapped Chili Chese Dogs

2010-02-09T17:55:00.003-06:00

Just a few pics. And yes, they were delicious.

Boulevard Brewery Tour

2010-02-09T16:58:00.013-06:00

Sarah and I have been wanting to go to the Boulevard Brewery for a couple of years. I've looked into doing it a couple of times but never actually signed up. I decided to finally commit to doing it in October. To my surprise they were 3 months out on their bookings. Our tour date finally came on January 3rd. The story, the building, and the product were amazing. If you ever get the chance (and know you're going to be in KC 3 months before you come down) you definately need to go. Here's the site.

I was surprised to see a Templeton Rye cask. Those bad boys are filled with beer for their smokestack series(If I remember right)

They were locked, I tried.

Their famous smokestack.

Their state of the art bottling line. 500 bottles per minute.

After the actual tour you get to sample 4 beers of your choice.

NYE at Trolley's with The Nake Jake

2010-02-09T16:51:00.009-06:00

Halloween at Trolley's with The Nake Jake

2010-02-09T16:46:00.008-06:00

Chili, the right way.

2010-02-09T16:34:00.003-06:00

I'm officially ready for spring. I'm so sick of this weather. The snow, cold, wind,etc is getting old. I thought the weather was one of the benefits of living in KC. One thing I do love about winter is the food. I'm going to miss the soups the most. Especially this one.Chili made with fresh ground sirloin. Enjoy.

I’m back…for now

2010-02-09T16:13:00.002-06:00

So it's been a while since I've posted. I thought I'd go back through my pictures and try to remember what I was going to write about. I'll start with the Great Finger Fiasco of 2009.

I decided to take a day off of work back in October. It was supposed to be a decent day and I didn't have anything to do at work anyway. As usual, after a few hours of being home alone I was bored out of my mind and getting tired of hearing Layla bark. Now I love my dog, but I can only take so much. Layla takes issue with any other animal walking in front of the windows, and that day a rabbit had decided to lounge around right outside of the bedroom window. After 20 hey's, leave it's, shhh's, shut the hell up's, and one I'll put you to sleep if you do it one more time, I snapped. Well, I was going to. I had just leaned my head in the bathroom door to turn off the lights when I heard her whining. I quickly whipped my head around to give her hell when SMACK! My nose hit the door jamb. Anyone who has ever been hit in the nose knows your first reaction is to grab your nose. Problem. Unfortunately for my finger, that door jamb was still in the way. At first I thought it was jammed. I instinctively wrapped my other hand around it and prepared to pull, that's when I noticed that my ring finger was pointing a strange direction.

Great. Just my luck. It's dislocated. I called the parents for their advice. Should I a)pull on it and hope it pops in, b)go to my regular doctor and see what they can do, or c)take a trip to the ER. Answer A was not a popular one. Mom assured me that I could go to my doctor's office and they would be able to take care of it. Knowing there's a difference between normal doctors and mom's small town witchdoctor's that perform colonoscopies using Earl's air compressor and a Polaroid, I decided to make a call to my doc.

That call resulted in an immediate, "Could you say that again sir?" The rest of the conversation on my end went something like this..."My finger is dislocated...yes I'm sure...because it's at a 45 degree angle...45 degrees...no the angle...well, yes it hurts...an appointment...when is...a week from today...Jesus…nothing…don't you think I should get this taken care of right now?" They referred me to an urgent care clinic, if I thought that my injury warranted it. I jumped in the truck and drove to the mall where the UC clinic was located. After once again describing the embarrassing way that the injury happened I was instructed to wait by the front desk for a nurse. She barely got out the door before she looked at my hand and said "the doctor isn't comfortable with your injury". Really, does it look like I'm comfortable with it? She referred me to Shawnee Mission Hospital, which is the short part of the story. I was greeted by swine flu posters and 20 people in the waiting room wearing masks. "Eff this, I'm not even checking in."

I drove towards home wondering what I should do next. Not wanting to bother Sarah I decided to hold off texting her. Plus, if I could get this thing fixed maybe I wouldn't have to tell her what happened. My last chance was St. Luke's South, a small hospital just a few blocks down the road. No one was in the ER. Good sign or bad? They had me back in a room in just a few minutes. Why didn't I stop here before? The nurse was in immediately and of course, asked what happened.

"I was attacked by a rabid pack of wolverines. I'm lucky I only hurt my finger."

She wasn't buying it. I explained what really happened only for her to say "Your first story was more interesting." The doctor ordered x-rays and numbed my finger. Holy hell did that hurt. He assured me it was going to be less painful in the long run. Really? Have you had a needle stuck in your finger before? Pumping what had to be hot lava into your knuckle? After about 30 minutes he came in with the x-rays.

"Well, good news, it's not dislocated." What? My hand is pointing at you and my ring finger is pointing at her. He told me the Radiologist looked at it and said it might be a slight subluxation. Really, why don't you get Dr. Stevie Wonder down here and we can all talk about this. And then he said it. "I should be able to pop this right back in. You don't mind if some of our staff comes in here to watch do you? They've never seen this before."

You don't say. Have you ever seen this before? Jackass. Keep in mind it's been about 45 minutes since my finger had been numbed. The next 60 seconds had to have been the most painful in my life. Trust me when I say the last thing you want to see in your doctor's eyes is frustration. He twisted, pulled, and pushed until I couldn't take it anymore. I ended our little show by simply saying "you're done."

He referred me onto a hand specialist. I was instructed to go to their website and fill out my paperwork ahead of time. http://www.kcbj.com. Yes, I laughed out loud. I met with the surgeon the next day and told him what the ER told me. He shook his head and said, nope, it's dislocated, and you probably tore a ligament, and it's probably sitting in your joint, that's why it won't pop back in." Finally, someone with a clue. He said we could try one thing but I would probably need surgery. That one thing, was to stick a needle in my joint and try to float the ligament out. Of course I took pictures.

Needless to say, that didn't work. I was scheduled for surgery a week later. Unfortunately Sarah was supposed to be going on vacation the next day. I thought I would be fine after surgery, at least enough to take care of myself. Sarah told me that I would be groggy after sedation and I needed someone around. Enter Bob. I thought he could come down and keep me company for a few days while I'm recouping, maybe take the dogs out that night after Sarah left.

Surgery day. I'll admit I was a little nervous. Not about the surgery itself, but about the anesthesia effects afterwards. I've seen what it has done to mom. She's made an ass out of herself on more than one occasion. I thought, "what if I start groping the nurses?" The last thing I remembered was someone telling me I would feel a slight burning in my arm. "Yep, it's burni ………….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

I now know my Michael Jackson loved Propofol so much. I woke up clear as a bell and felt as rested as I had been in a long time. The nurse had Sarah and dad come back to keep me company, or keep me from sexually harassing her, not sure really. I know I threw accusations around about my throat being sore, and I thought that kind of "stuff" only happed at the dentist office. I was out the door 15 minutes later, bright eyed and bushy tailed and freakin' starving. I've inserted pics of my post-op hand and some week after photos. If anyone in the KC area needs a good hand surgeon, Dr. Clinton Walker. I couldn't be happier with my outcome and he's excited about my recovery. Now I just have to get it ready for the final test…bowling. Injury pictures to come I'm sure.

Weston Apple Fest

2009-10-05T11:31:00.013-05:00

Sarah and I always talk about getting out and doing this or that but for some reason it never happens. I think we're both guilty of wanting to have a lazy weekend. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with a lazy weekend every once in a wile, we just need to get out and take advantage of the fall weather while we still can. I heard about the Weston Apple Fest on the Friday morning news and decided this was our chance. With Sarah on board we planned to wake up early on Saturday and head North about 45 minutes to the 21st Annual Apple Fest.

Not being one for driving around looking for parking, I grabbed the first spot I saw when we arrived. We then proceeded to walk about 9 blocks ...uphill ...both ways, passing "Parking $5.00" signs left and right. I would have paid $20 for someone to go get my truck and park it closer. I could sense Sarah's disappointment in me growing with every parking spot we passed. So 3 days later we ended up on main street and caught the last half of the parade. I was going to get pictures of the Jr. High band but I didn't want the kids to go back to school on Monday saying "did you see that creeper taking pictures of us?" so I opted for shots of the Model A's (you know those old farts love people taking pictures of their cars.)

Weston doesn't stop at Apple Fest. Oh no my friends, it is also home to antique shops, a couple bed and breakfast joints, and a few historic buildings. Of course I can't leave out M cCormick Distilling and Weston Brewing Company/O'Malley's Irish Pub (which was established in 1842.) Unfortunately we didn't give ourselves enough time (and we forgot the DD) to hit everything I wanted to, but we did get a little drinking in. Well, sipping.

Anyone who knows Sarah knows she doesn't get out of bed before 10:00am on a Saturday for anything, so while we were in Weston we also made sure we checked out the Pirtle Winery. The Pirtle Winery was established in 1978 and resides in a former Lutheran Church built by German immigrants back in 1867. This being my first winery visit, I wasn't sure what to expect but I wanted to make sure the trip was worth it for Sarah. The sheet we picked up at the door asked us to pick 4 of their wines to try. Four? Really? This isn't going to work!

Lucky for us the cowboy hat wearing worker with wine stains up to his elbows was in a giving mood. Pirtle Winery has 14 different wines and on Saturday they had all 14 available for tasting. From Blueberry wine which was surprisingly good to their Mellow Red, which tasted exactly like Welch's grape juice. Dangerous. Sarah loves wine and has tried to get me into it. I've come a long way from "dude...it all tastes like Mad Dog 20/20 to me." I still can't do a full bodied Cabernet or Port, but I'm getting there. Sarah liked the Weston Bend Red and the Port. My favorite...Pirtle Mead. Mead is made from diluted honey and water, fermented by yeast. I was a little hesitant to try it but I'm glad I did. Damn it was good. I still would have picked up a bottle even if I didn't like it just to say "I bought mead."

The next time we go up we plan on sitting outside in their vine covered wine garden and enjoying our purchases. If you're ever in the Weston area you should swing by the Pirtle Winery. You won't be disappointed.

Hawkeye Games at The Other Place

2009-10-05T11:16:00.004-05:00

Just a few pictures from the Iowa/Iowa State and Iowa/Penn State games.

Ginny's Surgery

2009-09-16T21:14:00.012-05:00

A while back I posted a picture of our oldest, Ginger, icing her knee. She had taken off after a rabbit and ended up tearing her ACL. After months of pain meds, no running, no playing, and no progress, Sarah decided it was time to get her surgery.

We recently started taking the girls to a vet in Spring Hill. It might be a 25 minute drive but it's well worth it. We were both a little nervous about her going under the knife as we had both heard horror stories about dogs never walking again after they had ligament repair done. Sarah spent hours researching the TPLO and intracapsular ligament replacement surgeries in hopes it would help in the descision making process.

TPLO = More $$$ and more invasive but a better chance of her making a "full" recovery. Intracapsular = less $$, less invasive, and less kennel time but can be risky in bigger dogs.

The TPLO or Tibial Plateau Leveling Osteotomy (now you know why I'm sticking with TPLO) procedure requires shaving off a portion of the bone in the knee and placing a plate and screws to hold the tibia in place for proper healing. One big problem. If the surgery doesn't work your left with nothing as a backup. The intracapsular procedure consists of, well, making a new ligament out of fishing line. It's best for smaller dogs but can be beneficial for larger dogs if they aren't tearing ass around the backyard on a regular basis. If this doesn't work at least you have the TPLO to fall back on. We decided that Ginny's tearing ass days were over and she was going to get what was behind door #2.

So Monday, September 14th came faster than Ginny wanted it to and she and Sarah made the trip down to Spring Hill. Although sad that she had to leave Ginger behind for a few days (I believe there were tears involved), Sarah was comforted by the fact that the staff was always affectionate during our visits. The next 6 hours consisted of me calling and texting Sarah asking "have you heard anything?" or "how long does it take for Christ's sake?" Finally Sarah got the call I had been waiting for all day. Her surgery went well and we might even get her back a couple of days early. Sarah called the next day to check on how her night went and was pleasantly surprised when she found out that Ginger had eaten breakfast. Me = not shocked. Ginger could have no legs and 1/2 a mouth and still have her face buried in her food bowl. Even better news...Ginger could come home the next day, September 16th, my birthday.

Now although I had been looking forward Sarah waiting on me hand and foot for my birthday, I was more than OK with us having Ginger home (that and the fact that Sarah knew nothing about the waiting on me thing and would have laughed hysterically before I finished asking.) Sarah picked Ginger up on her way home from work and I met them outside when they pulled in the driveway to help with the unloading. I was shocked at how good she was doing. She was not only bearing weight on it, she was already walking better than she was before the surgery.

FYI - Keeping a dog calm throughout the evening isn't easy. She runs when it's time to go out, she runs when it's dinner time, she runs when Layla barks. She Runs. She just had her 2 week follow up and her surgeon couldn't be more impressed. She's off her pain meds, walking with little to no limp, and her knee stability is where it needs to be.

I'll continue to put updates and pictures up until she's back to jumping on the bed and not getting yelled at for it.

Max Green Observation Center

2009-07-13T18:00:00.006-05:00

These are photo's from the 4th of July at Lake Icaria north of Corning, IA. The Adam's County Conservation Board used funds from my grandfather's memorial to build an observation center. Just in case you ever venture to the big city of Corning, the observation center is located at the beginning of the trail by the beach.

Brisket

2009-07-13T12:18:00.005-05:00

I love a good brisket. The problem is I haven’t been able to make on that I considered “good”, until a couple of weeks ago. Brisket is by far the hardest piece of meat to smoke. It has to be cooked at the right temperature, cooked f r the right period of time, and it has to have enough smoke to penetrate the meat…but not too much. But most of all, it takes patience.

The number one issue with brisket is making the meat tender enough to eat. Some people like to marinate the meat for 24-48 hours prior to smoking it. Although I can’t speak to the flavor of these marinades, there are a couple that look good on this page. I’m not much of a fan of marinating brisket. The flavor should come from the smoke and rub. I haven’t put much on my brisket in the past. A little salt, pepper and garlic powder usually does the trick. This time I decided to try an actual rub. It originally called for more paprika but I thought it would be too much.

• 1/4 cup paprika
• 1/3 cup brown sugar
• 3 tablespoons garlic powder
• 3 tablespoons onion powder
• 2 tablespoons oregano

The brisket from Sam’s was a little over 8 pounds. I trimmed off some of the fat but left about 1/3 of an inch to help keep it moist and add a little flavor during the cooking process. I applied a generous amount of rub and let it sit in the fridge overnight.

The next morning I was up by 5:00 (no alarm needed when there is flesh to be smoked), and had the smoker up to 225° by 5:30. Brisket is definitely a “low and slow” type of meat. The longer it cooks at a low temperature the more tender the meat will get. Cooking at 225°, you would typically let it cook for 1 to 1 ½ hours per pound.

I ended up making a mop with beer, Worcestershire, oil, garlic and pepper to keep the meat moist. I applied it every hour on the hour. With plenty of time to kill, Sarah and I decided we would play a game or 3 of bags. What a horrible idea. It only took Sarah one game to get warmed up one more to completely kick my ass. I don’t think I was ever within 11 points the entire game. Thank God we had to stop for a few minutes so I could check the brisket. I ended up cooking the brisket for 10 hours until it was 180°. I let it rest for 2 hours in a cooler before cutting it.

All in all I was happy with the result. I liked the rub and the mop that I used. I would have liked to have had more of a smoke ring. I was so concerned with having too much smoke flavor I ended up not having quite enough.

There’s a long list of things I plan on smoking this summer. Tune in to see what’s next!

Catching up with a few old friends

2009-06-23T16:17:00.009-05:00

Sarah and I went back to Des Moines a couple of weeks ago. Whenever we go back I do my best to hit at least one of my favorite places to eat. Just a few pictures to fill the blog until my next BBQ post.

Downtown Farmer's Market

Farmer's Market Breakfast Pizza - there was no way I could handle the breakfast burrito!

Because I had this beast to tackle at Jethro's. Way too many components to list so you can read about it here. It's called the Adam Emmenecker. And before you ask, no, I couldn't finish it.

And of course I couldn't forget about this little gem...

Oh how I've missed you.

Two original, no lettuce, extra cheese, with that glorious homemade sauce.

Grilling chicken tonight in the 100 degree heat. Might smoke a brisket this weekend. Pics coming soon!

Ladybugs

2009-06-07T14:17:00.012-05:00

In a previous post I had let everyone know I had a little, no strike that, gigantic aphid problem. It didn’t matter what I tried, they were still out of control and had really put a beat down on my pepper plants. Walking outside every morning, looking at my peppers, and saying “you have got to be shitting me” happened one too many times this past week. It seemed every time I killed the little bastards, 5000 more would show up the next day. I have officially run out of patience, and it was time to call in reinforcements.

After a little online research I found out I could order ladybugs online from Amazon for $13 (plus shipping of course.) I didn't really want to wait 5 days for delivery and wasn't sure my peppers could wait either. I looked for hours online for someone in the area that sold them but had no luck. After a couple of calls and a little help from a guy at Mission Nursery yesterday, I found a nursery off of 87th street that sold ladybugs. Sarah still couldn’t believe that a) I was going to buy ladybugs and b) that the little guys would actually eat the aphids.

When we arrived at the nursery we were directed to a small refrigerator at the front of the store. It was at that time that I was told that ladybugs were not my only option. The overly happy, middle aged woman that was helping us told me I could also purchase 200 Praying Mantis eggs. Praying Mantis eggs? Why not just give me full grown ones? I seriously considered buying them though.

“So, what do you do for a living?”
“Me? I’m a Praying Mantis farmer”

One problem…they can take up to 6 weeks to hatch. At the rate the aphids were eating, my peppers would be goners by then.

We were supposed to put them in the fridge when we got home and wait until it was dusk to release them. OK, like I’m going to wait to unleash my ladybug fury on those little green pricks! I was only going to take one out and carefully place him on a leaf that was overrun by aphids. After releasing my little friend and watching the bloodbath that ensued, I decided to release a couple of hundred more. Sarah, the skeptic, sat in awe of the little guys as they ripped through aphid after aphid. (You've seen the opening scene from Saving Private Ryan right? Just like that but without the shaking camera.) At one point we were even grabbing aphids with tweezers and feeding our new pets. I felt bad for some of the sluggish ones still trying to wake up from their refrigerator induced coma. They deserved to eat too!

(Roberto giving his prey a head start before sucking the life out of him)
We’ll see how this goes. I’m putting the other half on tonight and hoping that will be the end of it. I’m definitely winning the battle this weekend but if the aphids come back next week I’ll have to call up the Praying Mantis Calvary. The trick with that will be making sure the dogs don’t eat the Mantis. Ginger does an impressive job of catching flies mid-air. I’m sure she’ll enjoy the crunch of a full grown Praying Mantis!

Memorial Day Weekend Project - Cornhole

2009-05-27T20:05:00.009-05:00

No Jolene, that that cornhole. If you haven't heard of cornhole you've been living in a cave for the past 8 years. Cornhole is a game commonly played at picnics, tailgates, etc. The game itself is simple. Two playing boards with 6 inch holes in the top and 8 corn filled bags to be thrown in an attemp to make it in said holes. See, easy.

Well, I've wanted to make a set of cornhole (bags) boards for the last few years, and this weekend I finally got around to it. I figured a three day weekend would give me enough time to buy wood, have a beer, cut wood, have 3 beers, screw wood together…you can figure out how the rest of the process goes. The plans (which you can find here) seemed easy enough. Hell, how hard could it be to build a box? Actually, the box was pretty easy. I even lucked out and found plywood that was already cut to size. That only left me cutting the 2x4’s for the sides and legs. After 30 minutes of measuring and cutting I was done.

It was the damn painting that took me two days. There aren’t very many things in life that I despise more than painting. (Monistat commercials, the St. Louis Cardinals, and the vinegar based BBQ sauce...just in case you were wondering what some of them were.) First it’s the primer, then it’s 18 coats of paint, then it’s the logo (if you dare), then it’s the touch up from screwing up on the logo, then it was touching up from my touch up, and then of course there is the point in the project where I considered taking an ax to the whole thing and starting over. I finally gave up on perfection and decided enough was enough. Perfection isn't necessary considering these things are going to be sitting on the ground while people are throwing things at them. The only thing left was to put down 6 coats of semi-gloss polycrylic. That part I could handle, or so I thought. Somewhere in between the 3rd and 4th coat a renegade group of gnats found it necessary to reenact the kamikaze scenes from Tora! Tora! Tora! It took me 20 minutes to pick those little plastic coated bastards out of the poly.

I think they turned out pretty good. At least for my first set. They’re scheduled to get broken in the weekend of July 4th. I’m sure the Green Cyclown fans are going to love them!

Baby backs and a rub recipe

2009-05-17T20:15:00.011-05:00

It dawned on me a couple of weeks ago that it had been quite some time since I had smoked baby back ribs. My plan was to throw some on last weekend but Sarah, of course, had other ideas. I don't really see a problem with eating BBQ 5 days out of 7 but she does, and she kindly informed me that although she likes BBQ'd food she needed a break. Wanting to make sure she knows who wears the pants in the family I loudly let her that we WOULD be eating them this weekend...if that was OK with her.

So Saturday rolled around and it was time for supplies. We went to Sam's to get the ribs but quickly realized that although the price was great ($2.99/lb) the quantity was...well...Sam's. Now I loves me some ribs but 7 pounds of them is a little much for Sarah and I to eat. You would think that it wouldn't be too hard to find baby back ribs in Kansas City. You'd be wrong. Sure, Hy-Vee had them but for $5.99/lb, $3.00 more than my beloved Sam's Club. I was starting to think that maybe I should just buy the damn ribs at Sam's and show Sarah how a real man eats.

A quick discussion produced two things 1) Sarah doesn't want to see how a real man eats. 2) We needed to hit Price Chopper before we do anything drastic. After arriving at Price Chopper things were beginning to become clear. Either I was a cheap bastard or a sensible shopper. Their price...$4.99/lb. I shook my head in disgust and started to walk away but thought "She's going to kill me if I make her go back to Sam's...unless the Éclair lady still has samples". I swore under my breath as I ripped the package off the shelf and made my way to the front of the store.

OK, let’s review just in case you missed it...
7 pounds at Sam's = $23.00
4 pounds at Price Chopper $ 21.00
3 pounds at Hy-Vee = $19.00

I'll never buy another slab of ribs from anywhere other than Sam's.

Now that I had my ribs it was time to take them home and get them ready to smoke. I thought I would share a rub recipe that I use on both ribs and pork butt/shoulder. This recipe is great on it's own but when I make it I add a dash of this and a pinch of that to it when I make it. A dash and pinch of what you ask? Not telling. End of story. Most rub recipes are comprised the same ingredients but different measurements. If you haven't used rubs in the past you will want to make sure you taste it before you put it on your meat. Many good BBQ'rs have spent hours on their food, only to take one bite and realize the rub was too sweet, too spicy, or too salty. (It's OK...we’ve all been there before!)

Rib/Butt Rub - makes 1 1/4 cups.

4 Tbsp salt

4 ½ Tbsp sugar

2 Tbsp onion powder

2 ½ Tbsp brown sugar

1 Tbsp chili powder

1 ½ Tbsp white pepper

1 Tbsp cumin

1 Tbsp garlic powder

2 Tbsp black pepper

Make sure the above ingredients are mixed well (I put mine in a food processor and run for 30-45 seconds.) Apply liberally to your ribs or butt at least 12 hours before grilling/smoking.

The Psycho and The Gimp

2009-05-17T19:10:00.000-05:00

Layla 5 seconds before she pounced on me like a lioness attacking a gazelle. Should have known something was up with that thousand yard stare.

Ginny getting a little ice time on her knee. Damn bunnies are going to kill her one of these days!

Mr. Aphid. I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.

2009-05-17T15:35:00.008-05:00

I thought I would throw up an update on our vegetables and flowers that we planted. (You can find the original post here) I noticed last weekend that some of the leaves on my pepper plants were starting to turn brown. Upon closer inspection I noticed the leaves were speckled with tiny little bugs. It didn't take me too long to figure out what kind of bugs these little bastards were. Aphids. I immediately called Bob to ask for his 2 cents on what I should do. His advice...get ladybugs. Growing up with a grandmother who loved her flowers I was well aware of the power the ladybugs possessed. They take after aphids like sumo wrestlers take after an all-you-can-eat buffet. One problem...where in the hell do I find ladybugs in Kansas City?

I didn't have the patience to take the time to look online so I went completely against what I had said I wouldn't do. I bought pesticide. We had hoped we could go the season without using pesticide, but 3 weeks into it and I could care less. I soaked all of the plants thinking that would be that...not so much. I had to spray on Wednesday after spotting more aphids on my peppers. I once again called Bob, this time to tell him the pesticide he recommended sucked and that he was full of shit. Now, fast forward to this morning. I woke up around 8, stepped out on the patio to check the weather, and took a peek at my plants. They were covered from top to bottom with aphids. WTF? Seriously? I was starting to think that someone switched the contents of the bottle and I was spraying Kool-Aid instead. Long story short...I ended up taking them out of the pots, rinsing every bug and speck of dirt off of them, scrubbing the inside of the pot, and repotting them in a better soil. It's not that it was a tough job, but it wasn't what I had planned on doing at 8:30am on a Sunday. Sarah's tomatoes only had a few aphids so I decided to just douse the hell out of them with pesticide and hope for the best.

God as my witness, If I go out on Wednesday to water them and see aphids I'm breaking out the flamethrower.

Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday...

2009-04-25T19:39:00.007-05:00

We've been talking about planting flowers outside our apartment for a few weeks but with the up and down weather we had been holding off. Now with a couple 70 degree days under our belt we decided today would be the day. I woke up this morning at 6:15 and immediately wanted to head to the Farmers Market. Sarah, on the other hand, requires a few more hours of sleep than I do. You DO NOT wake her up on a Saturday morning. So I headed to the nearest coffee shop and grabbed Sarah an almond latte, hoping the aroma would coax her out of bed. To my surprise she was already up when I walked in.

We quickly scarfed down our breakfast sandwiches and headed down to the Overland Park Farmers Market. The selection in the early spring isn’t spectacular but it’s something different. We didn’t get much when it came to the veggies, a bundle of radishes and some grape tomatoes. Sarah did find a few flowers that she liked. I was starting to feel a little left out of the whole green thumb/Green Acres thing so I decided to start an herb garden. I’ve always wanted to be able to grab a fresh pinch of this or that whenever I wanted, and now seemed as good of a time as any. I grabbed thyme, cilantro, dill, and sweet basil. We’re going back next weekend so I can grab sage and rosemary. I think putting fresh sage in my freshly ground pork sausage should taste pretty damn good.

We decided to hit The Home Depot on the way home to look for a few more flowers. We walked out with 1 flower, 4 pepper plants, and 2 tomato plants. We figured that our patio was sitting empty, maybe we should put it to use. One more stop at Wal-Mart for additional pots, dirt, and a few more flowers and we were finally ready to head home. Now we just had to plant them.

I’m not going to go into great detail as to how much planting sucked. I’ll just say that I still have dirt under my fingernails and who knows where else.

Lord knows I’m not the most patient person so we won’t count how many times I look out the window in the next 60-75 days to see what’s growing. If we get 25% of what is supposed to grow I’ll be impressed. Just goes to show you that you don't need to have a ton of room or a garden to grow your own veggies.

I just hope the neighbors don't look out their window in 2 months and say "Honey come look, the tomato plants have taken over the redneck's patio."

We meet again Mr. Headroom

2009-04-24T10:01:00.007-05:00

I stumbled across this video and thought I would post it for your viewing enjoyment. Back in the mid-80's Coke used Max Headroom for a few of their commercials. Everyone loved the new AI (artificial intelligence) spokesman for Coke...except for me. At first I liked his commercials but then again they only lasted for 30 seconds. It seems that 30 seconds was my limit, and on one humid summer night in 1987, he began haunting me.

There used to be a show on called Friday Night Videos on NBC that aired from 11:30pm-1:00am. Bob and Jo weren't big fans of me staying up that late but my sister had some friends spending the night so I tried my best to blend in, hoping no one would see me. By the way, I would like to take this time to thank my sister for having slumber parties. When you're a 10 year old boy, there is nothing better than having six to eight 14 year old girls running around the house. It was because of these slumber parties that I got to see my first pair of boobs, albeit by accident. Thank you Becky Stohlman.

I was initially excited that I was actually awake when the show began, and then first video came on. After that I couldn't have slept if I wanted to. I'm not sure why it freaked me out to the extent that it did but every time I closed my eyes I would see that bastard singing. Sure he's not that scary now, but for a 10 year old who had just seen his first set of real live boobs, he was terrifying

For those of you who haven't seen the video here it is. Art of Noise - Paranoimia…

The Turkey Cannon

2009-02-11T20:28:00.011-06:00

Shortly after Christmas my boss came to town bearing gifts. It seems he had sent a previous email asking what kind of gift card we wanted and I failed to respond. I must have been working so hard I forgot...no, that can't be it. Knowing he can’t live without me he gave me the option of choosing between 3 different cards. One was for Macaroni Grill, one for Cabela’s, and, well to be honest after I heard Cabela’s I stopped listening. I snatched the Cabela’s card out of his hand and immediately started doing some online shopping. I decided to build up my grilling arsenal so one of my purchases was the Turkey Cannon. Possibly the best $25.00 I’ve ever spent. I sat by the front door like a rabid dog waiting for the mailman for most of the day today. My ears perked up when I heard the distinct roar of the UPS truck in the distance. The door hadn’t closed yet before I started ripping into the box.

So shiny! Of course I had to use it right away. I ran to the closest grocery store and bought a fresh chicken. After trimming a little fat and skin of it was ready to go…almost. I’m sure most of you have heard of drunken chicken or beer butt chicken. The Cannon is a supped of version of a beer can that allows the griller to pour beer, wine, juice, etc and add spices into the tube.

I decided to add a little more flavor by shoving green and red bell pepper strips, onion, and garlic between the skin and meat. A quick sprinkle with a few different seasonings and it’s ready to go on the grill.

Wait, something doesn’t feel right. Oh God, how could I have forgotten? Everything is better with bacon! Thick cut, hickory smoked, delicious bacon. Wrapped over every square inch of this bird.

Now we’re ready!

After an hour and a half on the grill over medium heat (along with a packet of tin foil loaded with apricot woodchips) it was ready. I'm not sure Sarah will continue to allow me to wrap food in bacon but she agreed that it added a great flavor.

Damn was it good. Sorry Bob, no leftovers to send. Maybe I’ll make it when you and mom decide to grace us with your presence. Until then you’ll just have to stare and drool.

Oh, and I'm now taking daily doses of Promise (the shot of yogurt crap that is supposed to lower cholesterol). I'm hoping it will make a decent sized dent in my numbers this year!

Got Smoke?

2009-02-04T11:42:00.003-06:00

With temperatures projected in the 60’s this weekend I’ve decided it would be a perfect day to fire up the smoker…again. We just had BBQ 2 weeks ago and Sarah’s love for smoked flesh pales in comparison to mine. Actually it’s so tiny I can’t even see it from high atop my smoked meat mountain. I had to find a way to convince her that I needed to create a cloud of smoke so great the BBQ Gods couldn’t miss it. Surprisingly it was way easier than I imagined. I decided to make pulled pork (pork butt), her favorite. Having stopped at Sam’s just last weekend I knew that the packages of pork butt were $1.28 per pound, much lower than the local grocery stores. The only problem (if you want to call it that) is that Sam’s Club packages 2 gigantic pork butts in one package. Fear not faithful readers, there’s smoked sausage to be made. I can’t let it go to waste Sarah!!!

I’m already making my list of what I need this weekend to ensure a happy BBQ experience. One of the most important things on the list is wood. There are a lot of BBQ enthusiasts out there that swear by hickory. I’m not sure if that’s because they love the flavor or they just haven’t tried anything else. I may be repeating myself when I say the reason I love cooking (not just BBQ) is the ability to go off recipe, try new things. BBQ not only offers you the chance to tweak the recipe but also the ability to make a preparation change. Something as simple as switching from hickory to a fruit wood (apple, cherry, apricot, etc) can make a huge difference in your final product. If you’re interested, check out the extensive list of types of wood and what foods they are best suited for here. I'm not sure what I'm using this weekend. I've got it narrowed down to pecan or apricot. I guess you'll have to wait until next week to find out which one I chose.

If you’re reading this and are unfortunate enough not to have a smoker…all is not lost. There are plenty of ways to smoke without a traditional smoker. Many backyard pit masters have put out a great piece of meat using their charcoal or gas grills. You can find directions on how to do this here for charcoal grills. If you own a gas grill you’ll need to purchase a smoker box (some BBQers have wrapped their wood chips in tin foil and poked holes in the top.) They sell for about $5.00 and you can find them at most hardware stores. When smoking on a gas grill you should only have one side of the grill going. This will be used to heat the wood chips in the smoker box and the water in the water pan. Your meat needs to be put on the other side and should not come into contact with direct heat. For those of you who love a good DIY project you can make your own smoker out of a trash can by following these directions. (Note: This website claims that the total cost is $50. I purchased a smoker at Wal-Mart for $30 that worked just fine after a couple of adjustments). I also got a kick out of these plans for a flower pot smoker.

It’s nearing lunchtime and all of this talk of food has made me a little hungry. Check back next week for this weekend’s finished product!

Oh, if it’s above 40° this weekend where you live, you too should fire up the grill. Who knows when we’re going to see good BBQing weather again!

The Finished Product

2009-01-25T13:50:00.006-06:00

Well, there isn't a lot left to say. The bacon thing wasn't bad but there was just something not right about it. I think it was just a texture thing (I'm weird like that.) I thought the flavor was good though. Regardless of texture, I ate way too much as usual. I'm not going to make any promises but I'm going to do my best to make it through the night without complaining to Sarah about my lack of portion control. There are only so many times you can binge and bitch to her! I have to be getting close to having them used up.

Maybe someday she'll realize the truth, that the sight of my face covered in BBQ sauce and my belly distended is a huge turn on for her. Until then

Bacon Explosion...with Southwest Iowa twist

2009-01-24T20:37:00.009-06:00

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve had decent BBQ and I had planned on doing just that this weekend. After a little checking I found out that the BBQ joint I wanted to try wasn’t open anymore. Seems like it wouldn’t stop catching fire. I thought what the hell and decided I would brave the chilly weather and fire up my smoker. What’s on the menu for tomorrow? I have a rack of spare ribs, cheesy potato casserole, and Bacon Explosion.

A what??? I got this recipe from Bob a few days ago and couldn’t wait to try it. I did however tweak it a little to make it mine. First step the bacon lattice! I opted not to get the thick cut bacon like the recipe had called for, I'm hoping that won't come back to bite me tomorrow when I throw it on the smoker.

After dusting my lattice with a little rib rub I added my first my first twist. Rather than use the Italian sausage that it had called for I went for ham loaf/ham ball mix. Finally I added a little cooked bacon and some cheddar cheese.

I plan on smoking it for 2 ½ to 3 hours on about 225°. I’ll post the finished product tomorrow!

My first attempt making sausage

2009-01-17T18:10:00.017-06:00

As you may have guessed, it didn't take me long to put my new meat grinder to the test. One week after buying it I decided to make summer sausage. Now before I get too far there's a quote from Otto von Bismark that I thought I would share with everyone. "Laws are like sausages, it is better not to see them being made." Sarah can now attest to that, and you are hereby warned.

Last Friday after coming home from work I informed Sarah that we had to get a Sam's Club membership as it was crucial to national security. OK, maybe I just wanted to take advantage of the discount on large cuts of meat. After signing up ,and convincing the nice elderly woman behind the counter that I didn't need a Sam's Discover Card, we were off. I walked towards the meat counter trying my best not to get side tracked. I thought I was home free until I noticed the 5 gallon bucket of cheese balls beckoning me. Sarah, quick to lend a voice to the situation, quickly put me back on track. I picked up 11 pounds of chuck roast and a large food tub to mix the meat in. We left as we entered, head down, trying not to make eye contact with the 5lb bag of jerkey or the 4lb tub of Laffy Taffy.

Knowing Sarah's love for sleeping in on the weekend I decided to start the process on Friday night rather than Saturday morning. The grinder isn't the quietest of kitchen appliances and I like staying on Sarah's good side . Although I found a ton of different recipes on the Internet I thought I would make it easy on myself the first time and bought a kit from Bass Pro. The kit contained the casings, cure, and seasoning.

I thought it might be a good idea to read the instructions on the box. The mistake was reading it aloud. The recipe called for 10 pounds of chuck roast and 1/2 pound of beef fat. Sarah had been concerned with the fat content of the soon to be summer sausage before I started story time so I decided to trim quite a bit of fat off the roast. Chuck roasts have quite a bit of fat anyway so I figured I was good to go. I started off by cutting the beef in 1 1/2" cubes. I then ran the beef cubes through the grinder. First with the coarse plate which produced ground beef that would be perfect for chili, then with the medium plate.

I mixed the seasoning and cure with water and mixed it with the meat and threw it out on the deck for an hour or so. The meat must remain cold throughout the process for both ease of grinding/stuffing and of course to ensure that no one ends up spending a couple days in the bathroom

Now the stuffing. What a pain in the ass! I think I would have had an easier time if the meat pusher wouldn't have been designed by an NFL lineman with hands twice my size. I couldn't hold on to the damn thing to save my life. Not wanting to give up on my first try I fought on. Finally the last casing was stuffed as tears streamed down my face (I'm not sure if they were tears of joy or if they were caused by the painful burning in my shoulder and forearm.)

After refrigerating overnight I fired up the smoker, threw in the pecan chips, and let the smoke do the work. Four hours in the smoker and another 2 in the oven and they were done.

Well aware that I'm worse than a 5 year old on Christmas Day, Sarah knew I wouldn't wait for them to cool before I had a taste. Pretty damn good if I do say so myself. When everything was said and done I ended up with 9 summer sausage rolls. After devouring one within the first hour, taking one to a friends house, giving one to Scott and one to Adam, I'm left with five. Don't be surprised if you get a package in the mail from me in the next couple of weeks!

Next up on my to do list...Smoked Sausage and a trip to a BBQ joint in Stillwell.

Brinner

2009-01-08T13:07:00.005-06:00

Whenever I’m bored at work I, like many Americans, surf the internet. I often come across articles on how important breakfast is. There was one in particular that said most people would sacrifice 15 minutes of sleep for a good hot morning meal. I am not one of those people…at least not during the week. Sarah swears by it and eats breakfast every morning on her way to work. It’s the loss of sleep I’m concerned with, not the food. I love breakfast food. So how can I enjoy my favorite foods while still getting as much sleep as I possibly can during the week? The answer is simple…Brinner. In case you don’t know, brinner is breakfast food for dinner (or Brupper for you rednecks out there). Just so there isn’t any confusion, eating cereal at 7pm doesn’t count as brinner.

Dad used to make brinner once a month or so when we were growing up. For me there was nothing that could top walking in when the streetlights came on and smelling the heavenly aroma of breakfast in the evening. I wouldn’t even need to peek around the corner to know what awaited me. Mountains of homemade waffles flanked on either side by plates of glistening bacon and sausage guarded only by a large bowl of hot maple syrup (and dad’s third eye in the back of his head that was always locked in on the table). I now believe that this was one of those meals that started my downward spiral into overeating. I could never get enough and always wanted more. I did however always want scrambled eggs to accompany the usual brinner components. Unfortunately dad has never been a fan of eggs. I’m sure there’s a heartbreaking story about a tragic chicken coop accident he has locked away somewhere deep down inside. Bob, when you’re ready, there are people here that love you and want to help.

I never knew that there was an actual term used for breakfast for dinner until I watched an episode of Scrubs some time back. So for those of you who question the word brinner or think I’m crazy for wanting to eat pancakes at 7pm I submit these videos for your viewing enjoyment.

Smoked and Stuffed

2009-01-04T11:22:00.001-06:00

In my first post I mentioned that my smoker came equipped with sausage hooks. It may have seemed like a detail that I could have left out but I felt I needed a way to tie my first two posts together.

Over a decade ago I received a book from my grandfather. This wasn’t just any book though; it was the Holy Grail of sausage making. “Great Sausage Recipes and Meat Curing” by world renowned sausage maker Rytek Kutas. Throughout the years I’ve picked it up and put it down at least a hundred times thinking “Is this really something that I want to get into?” At 32 years old and armed with a new smoker the answer is yes.

The first thing I needed was a meat grinder. Owning my own grinder seemed like a good idea anyway. If nothing else I can make my own ham ball mix considering the bastards behind the meat counters down here have never heard of it. How is that even possible? The mere thought of people south of Iowa not getting to experience this meaty morsel brings a tear to my eye. Where was I? Oh yes...I spent weeks researching all of the meat grinders available online and in local stores. There were quite a few things to consider.
1. How often am I going to use it?
2. How much meat am I going to put through it?
3. How often am I going to use it?
4. What attachments do I need?
5. How often am I going to use it?
6. How much should I spend?

Now #6 and #’s 1,3, and 5 all go hand in hand. I didn’t want to get the cheapest one I could find but I didn’t want to spend too much $$ and have it sit on a shelf collecting dust for years. Not knowing if the one I was leaning towards was actually in stock at the store I decided to call. To my surprise it was on sale, $50 less than I planned on spending. So my decision was made. I decided on a Pro 450 from, big shocker, Cabela’s. It came with an extra large hopper, 3 cutting blades, a 450 watt motor, and the most important accessories…2 sausage attachments.

Now I’ve mentioned before that I enjoy all things smoked, but my love for smoked sausage knows no bounds. It doesn’t matter what I’m smoking for the main course, a sausage will always thrown on the rack but rarely makes it to the table. After trying many store-bought and from scratch restaurant sausages I found myself saying “I can do better.” Now it’s time for me to put my sausage where my mouth is. Wait, that didn’t come out right. You know what I mean.

So it seems my to-do list has grown. First up with my new toy, summer sausage. I decided forgo the first time screw-up’s and bought a summer sausage kit. I figured since I saved money on the grinder I could spend a little on premixed seasonings and cures and casings. I also purchased breakfast sausage seasoning, snack stick seasoning and casings, and of course smoked sausage casings.

I think my greatest obstacle will be to keep Sarah away from the sausage making process. She’s already asking about low-fat, no-fat sausage. Is that even possible? If it is, who would eat it? I assured her I would do my best to keep things as low fat as possible. I even found a chicken, feta cheese, and spinach sausage recipe just for her. Potato sausage, bratwurst, salami, the possibilities are endless.

Yes Jolene, I’ve already contacted the doctor to get a script for Lipitor.

Stay tuned and pray I keep my fingers…

It was only a matter of time

2009-01-04T08:10:00.001-06:00

Well, I've finally caved. I'm officially a blogger. I kicked the idea around a few years ago when I was spending most of my nights on MySpace. But after careful consideration I decided against it. Only MySpace members could read it and there was no way I would be held responsible for Mama Jo getting hooked. Now here I sit, blogging, after 3+ years filled with excuses of not having enough time and not having anything to write about.

Anyone who knows me is well aware of my love for all things smoked. It started at an early age when I would sneak into my grandfather’s garage and lift the lid to his smoker. My God what a glorious smell. Most trips to Lawton would usually result in something being smoked. That crazy bastard even re-smoked little smokies for breakfast. Don’t laugh. They were delicious.

I got my first smoker in December 1998. I had purchased a charcoal smoker for my father for Christmas and he in turn gave me the propane smoker that he had been using. Being young and impatient didn’t help me much when it came to smoking food. I usually smoked ribs or ham once every 4 or 5 months. It was so much easier when dad or grandpa did it. The older I got the more I smoked. The smoker I got from dad wasn’t prepared for the abuse it was taking on a regular basis (not to mention it had some mechanical issues that resulted in a small explosion). It was finally laid to rest less than a year ago and I bought a charcoal smoker. Now don’t get me wrong, I love smoking with a charcoal smoker, but anyone who knows anything about smoking knows that some cuts of meat take 10-12 hours if you want to do them right. I wanted something bigger, something better. After weeks of deliberation and phone calls to my father and fellow BBQ lover J.B. I decided on a 36” stainless steel vertical propane smoker from Cabela’s. I may have promised Sarah that I would throw the charcoal smoker out but I think she knew deep down inside that it would never happen. My new smoker came with all of the bells and whistles every smoker should come with, including sausage hooks.

Damn, I’m already rambling. Maybe I should just get right to what I'm doing here. In the coming weeks, months, etc., I plan on posting pictures of what I’m smoking (just to piss dad off), recipes that I’ve found, things that I'm trying, and my opinion of various BBQ joints in Kansas City and beyond. I'll be happy with myself if I post once a week but I think we all know the odds of that happening are not in my favor.

So sit back, relax, and try not to drool.

Smoked and Stuffed

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Martin Hinrichs @ophawkeye

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The Turkey Cannon

Got Smoke?

The Finished Product

Bacon Explosion...with Southwest Iowa twist

My first attempt making sausage

Brinner

Smoked and Stuffed

It was only a matter of time

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